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Why Do You Not Believe In Love?

September 21, 2022

two people in love looking at the sunset

Introduction: Why Do You Not Believe In Love?

The fairytale goes that we live our life normally until one day our ultimate lover appears. Only then are we supposedly complete. This is because love makes us feel whole, competent, content, and enough. The fairy tale tells us that our lovers are our “missing piece”. Of course, if you hold this fickle image of love, then you may be disappointed by reality. You may not even believe in love. But why? When love is all around us, why do you not believe in love?

In this article, we will delve into common reasons why people do not believe in love. Moreover, we make the case that love is worth believing in.

Two siblings reading a book together in the sunset, loving

Our Core Beliefs

In order to understand how every one of us uniquely navigates and experiences the world, we have to consider our core beliefs. Everyone’s core beliefs differ as they are shaped by our values, cultures, and experiences – particularly those we have in the first years of our lives. Essentially, core beliefs are the foundation on which we build our lives. They shape our thinking and our actions, and guide us through difficult times. Our core beliefs define who we are and what we stand for.

Beliefs are powerful things. They can inspire us to greatness or hold us back from achieving our full potential. Our beliefs determine how we see the world and how we interact with others. They can be a source of strength and comfort, or a source of conflict and division.

It is important to note that core beliefs can be positive or negative, helpful or harmful. For this reason, we should strive for awareness of our core beliefs. We must question them from time to time, to make sure they are still serving us well. Because the reality is, most of us have some damaging core beliefs. For you it may be that love does not exist. Are your core beliefs the reason why you do not believe in love? We’ll now delve into some negative core beliefs that people hold that lead them to believe that love does not exist.

Lack of self love may be why you do not believe in love
Popular Core Beliefs

Some popular core beliefs include the following: “I am not enough”, “I am not worthy of love”, and “I am unlovable”. When we have these beliefs, consciously or not, we go through life not believing in ourselves. We lack self love. But, this lack of self love can hold us back from achieving our goals and reaching our full potential. It’s important to realize that you are worthy of love and respect, even if you don’t always feel that way.

Lack of Self-Love

Lack of self love manifests as self-sabotage (i.e., missing dates because of fear, not applying to jobs we are qualified for, letting go of our goals, etc.), low-self esteem, depression, and more. Thus, if you don’t love yourself, it’s hard to believe that anyone else could possibly love you. It’s also difficult to take care of yourself properly if you don’t have any love for yourself.

Thus, when we lack self love, we believe no one will ever love us. Here’s the thing though: this is a lie. Even if we deeply hate ourselves, there will be someone out there that loves us. It is human nature to love. It’s up to you to realize this and see this. It’s up to you to work on your damaging core beliefs. And, even if no one else loves you (rare), you have to love you. You are the only person you will always be with. You need to treat yourself kindly and with love.

Not every day will be easy. Self-love is hard in a society that teaches us we are not enough. But this, once again, is a lie. You are enough. In fact, you were born into this world enough. So, you are lovable, enough, and worthy of good things. You have to believe these things in order to believe in love. So, why do you not believe in love? Is it because you lack self love? Is it because of your core beliefs? It is important to reflect on these questions.

Two people side hugging as they look out onto the mountains

Media Representations of Love

Why do you not believe in love? Is it because you lack self love or is it because of another reason? Perhaps it is because of unrealistic media representations of love that we consume. Let’s compare the unrealistic representations of love with the reality of love to discern just how damaging these expectations can be.

In our culture, love is often portrayed as an all-consuming, romantic feeling. We see this in movies and TV shows, where the characters fall madly in love with each other and their lives are changed forever. This portrayal of love can be very misleading.

Love is not always a fairytale. It’s not always easy or perfect. In fact, it can be messy and complicated. But that doesn’t mean it’s not worth having. Love is worth the effort because it can give us some of the deepest happiness we will ever experience.

So what does love really look like? Love looks like sacrifice and compromise. It looks like patience and forgiveness. Love looks like laughter and tears. It looks like two people who are committed to each other, no matter what life throws their way. You will have seasons of deep love and connection and you will have seasons of hardship and anger with your partner. This is normal. Love will not always be easy, but it is still worth believing in.

Friends hugging on the edge of a building because they love each other

Trauma and Heartbreak

Why do you not believe in love? Is it because of your own experiences? Trauma and heartbreak can blind us to the existence of love. We become so focused on the pain that we forget about the good moments. We end up not believing in love. However, we should not let our past define our present and future. You did not deserve whatever pain you went through – whether it was from a partner or a parent. Moreover, you did not deserve to feel unloved by a family member or by your partner. Please know: you did not deserve the trauma. But, you shouldn’t let that pain hold you back from experiencing new love from friends, family, and lovers. You deserve to have that happiness.

No matter your trauma, know that by coping with your pain, you can begin to rebuild your life. You can create a life full of love and joy.

Dad giving his child a kiss on the cheek that is full of love

Why Love is Worth Believing in

Though love may seem like a concept that is too good to be true, it is very much worth believing in. Love has the ability to bring out the best in people and provide them with happiness that they may have never thought possible. Love is also worth believing in because it can help people get through tough times in their lives – times when they may feel like giving up. Love is something that is worth fighting for, and it is definitely worth believing in.

Love is all around us. It is in the way a mother cares for her child. Love is a friend paying for another friend’s dinner. It is a teacher going out of their way for their students. Love is you.

Couple on the beach during sunset

Conclusion: Why Do You Not Believe in Love?

In conclusion, love is something that many people believe in because it gives them hope. Hope for a better future, hope for happiness, and hope for a life partner. Love is something that can make people happy, and that is why so many people continue to believe in it despite the heartache and pain that it can sometimes cause. So, why do you not believe in love? This is an important question to reflect upon so that you may experience the best things of life: love, contentment, and joy.